Your Valentine’s gift

Happy Valentine’s Day!

On this day that’s all about love, I can’t help but notice that the majority of singers I know are not very loving towards themselves.

You’re SO hard on yourself!!

So today I want to give you a gift – a tool to quiet your inner critic and reconnect you back to love, sound and song.

Before we go any further, I wonder . . . .have you ever sat down and really paid attention to what your inner voice says to you?

For a lot of us, that voice is pretty damn harsh.

It LOVES to criticize.
It constantly tells us how much we are lacking, reminds us of all the ways it thinks we are bad or wrong, berates us for doing too little or too much, and it is rarely satisfied.

Here’s what I want you to know:

When you hear that critical voice,  it’s not you.

It is not the voice of your true self and it’s not the voice of love.
It’s the voice of your ego, otherwise known as your “inner-critic”.

The voice of the true self so often gets drowned out by the ego/inner-critic that at times the inner-critic is the only voice we hear. But it’s not the only voice that’s there.

Learning how to detach from your inner-critic and connect to the voice of your true self can be game changing for improving your singing and getting you “un-stuck”. 

I know, you’re thinking “Oh Arden, here you go again with the voodoo, woo-woo stuff”, but hear me out!

I’ve helped a TON of singers dramatically improve their singing by helping them shift how they relate to themselves. In my experience, this is a huge part of what makes a successful singer because it actually effects your vocal technique.

So many of us artists and creative types experience a very loud and often very mean inner critic.

When we allow the inner critic to dominate our thoughts, perceptions and experiences, our ability to sing and perform at the highest level is greatly impacted. 

When our inner critic looms large, we:

  1. Go forward in our singing (and in the world) from a place of fear and anxiety
  2. Fear and anxiety create physical tension
  3. Tension prevents us from efficiently using our technique and connecting to an audience

. . . .and when that happens, we don’t sing vey well and our performances don’t make an impact. It’s pretty simple. 
As singers, we need to be able to let go, trust our technique and trust ourselves to be vulnerable in connecting to an audience. 
How can we possibly do that with this very loud and mean inner critic keeping us in fear and anxiety and feeling “less than” all the time? 
A wonderful meditation and mindfulness teacher in Los Angeles named Heather Prete teaches a great technique for keeping your inner-critic in check. 
When you hear that critical voice, start by naming it, it’s not you. “Ah, there goes my inner critic again”. Detach from it, even laugh at it “Bwahaha, inner-critic, you’re so predictable!” Then return to the present moment, your breathing and the feel of your body. 
Odds are whatever the inner-critic was yammering on about isn’t taking place in the present moment. It’s usually shaming you about the past or worrying about the future. 
The inner critic doesn’t live in the present moment. But the true self does – love does.

Every time you detach from your inner-critic, you reconnect with your true self and you reconnect with your love – love for who you are, what you’re singing, the moment that you’re in and the audience you’re connecting to. 
In this way, your true self steps in and witnesses the ego as something separate from the love. When that happens, all of its criticism and fear mongering takes on much less significance and its voice stops being so loud in your head. 
Detaching from our inner-critic allows us to better trust our vocal technique and to flow with the possibilities of the present moment in our singing without the need to tense, over-control, force or manipulate.  
When you do that, you sound better, feel better and make a bigger impact on your audience. . . . ALL of which brings the breakthroughs in your career you’ve been waiting for.

Here is a little EXERCISE for you.

Use these steps to reconnect to your true self (love) the next time you notice your inner critic flaring up:

  1. Name that voice as your inner-critic
  2. Detach from it, it is not you
  3. Address it (even laugh at it!)
  4. Return to the present moment. Name out loud 5 objects you see and their color.
  5. Connect to your breathing, say to yourself “I am breathing in” as you inhale and “I am breathing out” as your exhale.
  6. Connect to the feel of your body, the feeling of the air and the clothes on your skin, the movement of your pulse and your heartbeat and any other physical sensation you notice.
  7. Go on with your day. You have successfully checked your inner critic!

And if you’d like to move more quickly to transform the things that have been keeping you from realizing the full potential of your voice and your singing career, then Book-A-Call with us.

Helping singers link Mind & Body in more powerful, effective ways to breakthrough in their singing is what we’re the best in the world at. 

It can be hard and take a really long time to shift these things on your own.

Book-A-Call with us and I’ll walk you through the exact strategies and support we use with our singers. If you’d like our help to implement it, then I’ll show what that looks like.

This call is for SERIOUS Singers who are committed to doing the hard work and whatever it takes to reach the potential of their voice and achieve their goals.

This is not for “tire kickers” or people who say they want to be a successful singer but are not really invested in that outcome and have never really taken any action to make that happen.

If you’re a “dabbler”, this call is not for you.

But if you are serious about cultivating the mind/body connection that wins auditions, releases records people actually listen to, performs for thousands of people on a regular basis. . . . .

. . . . and you’re serious about investing the time, energy and money to get past what’s been stopping you from doing that?

Then click to BOOK A CALL with us today.

Sending you SO much love!


P.S. We created a series of quick, easy singing tips that can be implemented into your everyday practice. These tips range from technique, to mindset, to performing secrets where I will be pulling the curtain back to find your best confident voice. New#60SecondSingingTips are posted every 2 weeks, so come back to learn more!

Also incase you haven’t seen it, Watch Arden’s Masterclass: 

“The 5 Step Strategy Smart, Professional Singers Use to Finally Get That Breakthrough in Their Singing which Ushers In Big, Sustainable Careers”

Click HERE to Watch the Masterclass:


Additionally join our Pro Singer Success Collective Facebook Group tailor made for artists who are taking their careers to the next level:


-Arden Kaywin Vocal Studio-

Leave a Comment logo