More Important Than Breath Support - Arden Kaywin Vocal Studio

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BRAVO

I’m so excited to have you!

Studio Members get motivational emails every once in a while, first dibs on scholarship seats to singing workshops and master-classes and other studio member-only resources I don’t offer anywhere else.

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Join Arden’s free virtual studio to get member-only tips, tools and singing insights

IMG_9257-Edit

BRAVO

I’m so excited to have you!

Studio Members get motivational emails every once in a while, first dibs on scholarship seats to singing workshops and master-classes and other studio member-only resources I don’t offer anywhere else.

Please enter your name.
Please enter a valid email address.
Something went wrong. Please check your entries and try again.

More Important Than Breath Support

Yeah, you need great breath support, but what will kill your sound even if you have the best support is when I hear singers say “it’s not that bad”.

Because “It’s not that bad” is a death sentence.

And hear me out before you think this is some scare tactic…..

There are some real mindset blocks to work through here. 


We’ve all been in the phase of “well, it’s not that bad”.

  • My auditions aren’t THAT bad…. I usually don’t bomb them, I just need somebody to take a chance on me.
  • My recordings aren’t THAT bad…. I just need an angel investor for the right ________ (fill in the blank: marketing, producer, etc)
  • Oh, the tension/strain/vocal fatigue I experience isn’t THAT bad…..other singers are far worse – I just have to not sing for the next few days then I’m ok.
  • It’s really not that bad…I mean, yeah, I spend more time at my side job so I can support my singing then I do actually singing (which makes me super exhausted and burnt out for when I do have opportunities to sing), but hey…other people are far worse, at least I have a job.
  • Oh, it’s not that bad. I’ll just keep pushing and if I don’t give up, eventually things will get better…(even though it’s been YEARS) 

These are all things I used to tell myself when I was a young singer, living paycheck to paycheck spending more time thinking about my dream then actually living it. 

And these are the same thoughts that can either keep singers stuck or bring them freedom depending on what you do with them. 

Let’s dive in, shall we?

 

There are two main effects of thinking “it’s not that bad”:

1. It keeps us from the pain of facing our everyday reality. 

  • Instead of facing the frustration, unfulfillment and – let’s just call it tight – failure of settling for a “back-up” career because you don’t know how to make enough of an impact with your voice for it to be your main gig, you tell yourself “I’m fine being here… it’s an ‘okay’ life….most people don’t live their dream” 
  • Instead of taking in the full force of isolation and loneliness you’re in because it’s just easier to cocoon than to keep wearing the mask in social settings pretending your career is going great and you’re great, you tell yourself: “I’m okay with being alone” or “I’m tired of them anyway.” 
  • Instead of living in the guilt and shame of having given it your best shot all this time and STILL not making it at the level you want, you soften the blows by saying “oh, I’ve done more than most” or “it’s a hard industry, this is just the way it is.” 
  • And instead of going all out to truly OWN your voice and make a life out of your gifts, you tell yourself it’s not that bad, or even accept the mediocrity and daily struggle as just part of who you are. 

It doesn’t have to be this way. 
It’s not your fault. 

You’re forced to adopt this thought pattern when it’s been years (or even decades) of not finding an answer to the inconsistency, unreliability, and lack of impact in your singing.     
     
If we didn’t have this “it’s not that bad” mental defense mechanism, life would be even more miserable. Because without the mental numbing, we would have to find other ways to numb ourselves: comfort food, alcohol, drugs, and mindless TV or social media. 

That’s why we have to break you free from living in “it’s not that bad” (And we’ll cover that in just a bit.) 

2. The second big issue is that this thinking will keep you STUCK. 

Let’s face it. We’re all human. When something isn’t that bad we don’t take the massive action required to get our outcome. You see this time and time again.

Take health for example. There are a ton of people who would love to get into the best shape of their lives. But, when they feel things aren’t that bad, they’ll find excuses (and snacks) instead of their goals. And of course, that person who doesn’t give two craps about their health until they have a heart attack because they felt their health “wasn’t that bad” (as their arteries were slowly getting clogged from years of poor health choices). 

Even if you’re not fully aware of it, when you’re stuck in “it’s not that bad” mode, you sabotage yourself in countless ways: 

  • You put others first (work, family, your water heater) and yourself dead last. 
  • You’re not prioritizing your dream 100% – you choose short term comfort and security over the long term comfort and security you really crave.
  • You don’t show up with the consistency, commitment and priorities needed to make the changes necessary to get where you want to go.

And I only write this because I care… but when you’re stuck in “it’s not that bad”, you settle for less in terms of the quality of your life in ALL aspects of your life. You take baby steps when you need massive shifts. 

Essentially, when you think “it’s not that bad,” you’re captive in a mental prison that you don’t even know you’re in!

The only way to break out of this prison is when you make the shift from “it’s not that bad” to “I MUST live the life I was born to live.” 

Only when you’re MASSIVELY committed to the dream you have for your voice, your talent, your career and your life can you get there, just like how a boxer must obsess about becoming a champion to finally get there. Anything less will leave you living in a mediocre struggle of an existence. 

Yes, you will have a lot of failures that will challenge you.
Yes, there will be dark nights where you question what you’re doing. 
Yes, you will have to give everything you’ve got to have the life you want. 
*Take a deep breath*

You got this.

When you make these shifts, that’s when you become the most powerful performer and the champion of your life again. 

That’s when all the frustration and doubt gets replaced with confidence and excitement  because you are owning your voice. 

That’s when you feel energized and love waking up each morning because you are actualizing your dream.  

That’s when your friends and family breathe in a sigh of relief because you’re happy, fulfilled and finally able to do what you love at the highest level.

Let me ask:

When is now going to be the time to fix this? How bad do things have to get?

Are you willing to admit how things truly are right now? And how things will be in the future if your life continues this way? 

Are you willing to claim your vision for your voice, your career and your best life? 

Who would you be if you had the courage to face reality and have the tools and support to finally own your voice and make waves in your career? 

How committed are you to getting there? 

If you write back with your insights, questions, or action steps from this post, then I’ll connect you with a free resource to help you out!
 

P.S. If you’re feeling stuck and want more resources, watch this training I did recently about The Question You Need To Ask To Get Where You Want to Go. Click below to check it out!

woman throwing hands up in frustration with text "feeling stuck? This is the question you need to ask yourself"

 

 

 

 

 

 

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